I used to lie awake at night, running every "what if" over and over. What if I lose my job? What if something happens to my family? What if I'm not enough? I tried breathing apps, staying busy, and pushing it down. Some of it helped for a while, but the weight always came back.
For years I kept score. I tried to be kind enough, honest enough, religious enough. On good days I felt I was doing all right. On bad days I knew I wasn't, so I promised myself I'd try harder. The bar kept moving, and I was exhausted.